On Monday night, I brought a fun exercise for the Dream Keepers. I gave them a version of the Best Possible Self exercise found in several psychology studies (Laura King, Sonja Lyubomirsky, et. al.): "Imagine yourself a year from now. You have worked hard. Everything has gone as well as possible. Tell me what your life looks like. What have you accomplished? What do you do with your days? What is new in your life?" This was not a new exercise to the group. We had done a variation of this more than a year ago.
The Dream Keepers looked like I'd asked them to eat brussels sprouts. Or write a novel in 30 days. Actually, when I shared with them my wild and crazy dream that we'd write a book together, they embraced it.
"No problem!" one shouted.
"Even if it's long? Like 200 pages?" I asked.
They shrugged, undaunted by the idea.
BUT THIS! Imagine their best possible future selves? Too hard, they whined.
I tried again. I invited the Dream Keepers to create a list of the 50 or 100 things they wanted to do before they died. They asked, "So what do you want on the list?" I told them that I wanted them to put down what THEY wanted to do with their own lives—not what I wanted for them. I gave them a few ideas, "Write about where you want to travel, where you might go to college, what kind of degrees you will earn, what kind of family you want, who you want to connect to, how you might help the community. Stuff like that." They wiggled, got up and walked around, danced a bit to the music I'd brought, and talked about random worries. But then the Dream Keepers wrote long lists of dreams.
Next year, we will work more on writing down dreams and learning how to set goals. I think this is a valuable and essential skill for life--because (as some wise person once said) we have to dream it before we can do it.
Here's the magic in this dreaming exercise. As the Dream Keepers wrote, they shared their ideas with each other. That sharing reminded the rest of us of our own dreams. Me, too. Natalie wrote that she wanted to make a movie. Ahh yes! Me, too! I recorded my desire to become a better swimmer. Maya added it to her list as well.
The Dream Keepers gave me permission to share their lists with you. I hope the lists will dare you to dream, too!
Dream on! Rochelle
Maya's list
Travel to Spain, Travel to Hawaii, have twins, become a medical pathologist, become a millionaire, meet Usher, meet Chris Brown, see my grandkids get married, live until I die, meet the President, be in a movie, go to college, graduate from college, write a book, go scuba diving, swim with fish, learn how to swim, learn how to ice skate, ...
Elisha's list
Go to paris, go to Africa, have a baby in Africa, adopt a baby, go to Disneyland, meet Corbin Bleu, meet Chris Brown, meet lloyd, open a day care, be in a broadway play, be a choreographer, have long hair, lose weight, go sky diving, ...
Natalie's list
Have 10 children, have 6 college degrees, be married to the man of my dreams, travel to Africa, meet Alicia Keyes, have 20 bestselling CDs, act in at least 15 movies, date Chris Brown, lose weight and keep it off, date Tyson, become a vegetarian, have 30 bestselling novels, adopt 6 children, sponsor 20 children, adopt children, become a millionaire, love all my enemies, be an example of love and peace, create a prayer, go to China, go to Europe, direct a film, choreograph, find a cure for AIDS, find a cure for cancer, become the first Black female president, write a play, spoil my mother, be a minister at a church, send my children to college, ...
The Dream Keepers looked like I'd asked them to eat brussels sprouts. Or write a novel in 30 days. Actually, when I shared with them my wild and crazy dream that we'd write a book together, they embraced it.
"No problem!" one shouted.
"Even if it's long? Like 200 pages?" I asked.
They shrugged, undaunted by the idea.
BUT THIS! Imagine their best possible future selves? Too hard, they whined.
I tried again. I invited the Dream Keepers to create a list of the 50 or 100 things they wanted to do before they died. They asked, "So what do you want on the list?" I told them that I wanted them to put down what THEY wanted to do with their own lives—not what I wanted for them. I gave them a few ideas, "Write about where you want to travel, where you might go to college, what kind of degrees you will earn, what kind of family you want, who you want to connect to, how you might help the community. Stuff like that." They wiggled, got up and walked around, danced a bit to the music I'd brought, and talked about random worries. But then the Dream Keepers wrote long lists of dreams.
Next year, we will work more on writing down dreams and learning how to set goals. I think this is a valuable and essential skill for life--because (as some wise person once said) we have to dream it before we can do it.
Here's the magic in this dreaming exercise. As the Dream Keepers wrote, they shared their ideas with each other. That sharing reminded the rest of us of our own dreams. Me, too. Natalie wrote that she wanted to make a movie. Ahh yes! Me, too! I recorded my desire to become a better swimmer. Maya added it to her list as well.
The Dream Keepers gave me permission to share their lists with you. I hope the lists will dare you to dream, too!
Dream on! Rochelle
Maya's list
Travel to Spain, Travel to Hawaii, have twins, become a medical pathologist, become a millionaire, meet Usher, meet Chris Brown, see my grandkids get married, live until I die, meet the President, be in a movie, go to college, graduate from college, write a book, go scuba diving, swim with fish, learn how to swim, learn how to ice skate, ...
Elisha's list
Go to paris, go to Africa, have a baby in Africa, adopt a baby, go to Disneyland, meet Corbin Bleu, meet Chris Brown, meet lloyd, open a day care, be in a broadway play, be a choreographer, have long hair, lose weight, go sky diving, ...
Natalie's list
Have 10 children, have 6 college degrees, be married to the man of my dreams, travel to Africa, meet Alicia Keyes, have 20 bestselling CDs, act in at least 15 movies, date Chris Brown, lose weight and keep it off, date Tyson, become a vegetarian, have 30 bestselling novels, adopt 6 children, sponsor 20 children, adopt children, become a millionaire, love all my enemies, be an example of love and peace, create a prayer, go to China, go to Europe, direct a film, choreograph, find a cure for AIDS, find a cure for cancer, become the first Black female president, write a play, spoil my mother, be a minister at a church, send my children to college, ...
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